Flying Away Part I: Playing out my Plot on the Plane

So I have had some posts about travels and perspective. Now it’s time for me to take you back to the (almost) beginning of my travels: my flight to Europe. Before that, I had to get to my flight in Toronto.

Take Off

Let me lay the scene. I am at the Toronto Pearson International Airport and though my feet still glide over Toronto, my mind has already sprung ahead to the adventure waiting on the other side of the Atlantic. I just have one flight between then and that new country (for me). One more obstacle to overcome.

 

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Westjet, you’re the real MVP for flying me away. Photo Credit: Tomás Del Coro

 

I join the throngs of Zone Three flyers in line. At this point, I’m still not sure if my bags will make it. They made an announcement about the flight being “filled to capacity” and I don’t know if those baggage size tools near the desk look accommodating enough for the all the belongings I stuffed into the two bags at my feet.

Surreptitiously, I avoid the line with the strict bag checker – you can always tell. My ticket taker seems chill, plus he has a Deathly Hallows necklace – Harry Potter fan = win! I make it to the dude, make HP small talk, score a smile, and I’m headed down the tunnel leading to my budget flight.

Brown Shoes and New Friends

I plopped down into my seat. I struck up a conversation with my temporary neighbor – we’ll call him Greg.

We chatted about the social acceptability of taking off one’s shoes during a flight. Then we noticed another person had taken the leap. This other person had brown shoes, so we knew he could be trusted.

That might need some explaining.

Back to Greg.

We took off our brown shoes – oh did I mention he had brown shoes, that’s how I knew he was a good person. We joked about the gas masks falling down after our shoes came off. One too direct look from a steward put an end to those jokes.

Greg was a pretty cool Canadian, most are in my experience. We chatted about his long-term girlfriend. He had dated her since high school then throughout college. The two wanted to make sure they weren’t holding each other back so they tried breaking up for a few months. It didn’t take. They were soon back together. I think that takes a bold set of people to be willing to give it up. Honest.

I love hearing the stories people offer. On the road, at a coffee shop (where I should be typing away), or on some form of transportation, people have shared their lives and I have been lucky enough to listen. Keep it coming people!

Recruitment Begins

Greg seemed a level-headed romantic so he would be the perfect candidate to recruit for my plan. I was on a flight to meet my partner. When the plane landed, the date would be her birthday. I couldn’t just let such a momentous occasion pass by unnoticed.

I had a poster handmade and readily available plus balloons stowed and laying in wait to be blown to blue, birthday brilliance.

The last step of my plan involved others. Strangers. Unwitting accomplices who were lucky enough to join me on this flight.

The plan was to greet my special lady with a rendition of “happy birthday”. But just as when a friend would sing in public, it is easy to silence one person, it is a different matter entirely to silence a crowd.

A crowd is what I was after.

I explained the situation to Greg. He hesitated. His pause switched to a tentative agreement provided I convince others to join my chorus of voices.

I had to recruit more folks for my singing routine if my plan were to succeed. Greg was the first backup singer, but I needed more. My eyes danced around the cabin for other co-conspirators.

Ladies in Need

Greg began to get sleepy so I went back to reading. I only got a few pages in when two elderly ladies behind me got my attention. They immediately won points by referring to me as “Hercules”. After buttering me up, they offered to get me a drink or something if only I would grab a trifle from their bag overhead.

“Oh no, a drink won’t be necessary,” I told them laying on the suave attention thick as molasses. “I’m happy to help. But I do need some back up on something…”

With the tension as dense as my sugary sweetness, I stood up and grabbed the pillow out of their bag. The elation evident in their toothy smiles, the ladies began thanking me profusely. I sometimes forget how some things which are easy for me can be a challenge for others. We’re all in this together!

“So, I have this idea to surprise my lady,” I open. I could barely get any more out before they were both nodding enthusiastically. They are into it. They want to make this happen. This is going to happen. Joy is mine.

But I was far from the last security checkpoint.

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This story will conclude next week. Check back in then!!

Being Absurdly Existential on the Eve of Leaving (Again)

***Note: I wrote this on Monday, October 30, 2017, the day before leaving my home in Michigan to go on my next journey. Then things got busy. Might as well give you what I have to offer.***

The year 2017 has been a wild one up through October. So far:

Then I went home in October. I have been running around like a wild man these last few weeks. I have attended two weddings, one in New York and the other in Florida. I saw friends and family who I have only been able to communicate with via texts and video calls for months. Plus, most importantly, I saw my dog.

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The family dog, Ghanush.

I had been so busy, I barely got to relax with the people I like best in the world. We rushed off to a party, or to a brunch or a flight or a dinner or…you get the idea.

The best day at home was the day before my last day in town. My brother took the day off. We did our own thing (I played video games while he watched a show), we had a meal together, we went rock climbing, and we got a chance to have a long chat. I felt at home.

I have gone East to Europe and back home. Tomorrow I head South to Central America.

A friend sent me the following video today. Then another friend posted it. Alright world, I can take a hint.

This sparked many ideas for me. Let’s get deep.

The maker’s of this video call the concept “Optimistic Nihilism”. Although life can appear meaningless and chaotic, “we might as well be happy…If this is our one shot at life, there is no reason not to have fun and live as happy as possible; bonus points if you help others.” These ideas resemble Absurdism and Existentialism to me, at least partially.

Let’s go there.

Existentialism is “a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will”. To me, this means exploring what it means to choose one’s own life, then taking those choices as important reflections of the one who makes them.

I had to revisit my decision to live abroad. Were there valuable things to see outside my country? Would I be able to balance exploration (internal and external) with professional growth? Could I manage relationships authentically and deeply though I would be doing so remotely?

Photo Credit: WikiCommons

This existential exploration is a big reason I left teaching at the beginning of this year (edit: 2017). There was so much unexplored territory in terms of work and professionalism that I could not experience if I had remained to teach. It has been fascinating to learn more about motivation and engagement – topics which have interested me since I was a kid caught up in doing challenging/unappealing workouts – from a business perspective.

I try to constantly reevaluate my life, my choices, and my direction. I have found that these existential musings are not always pretty, but I find that I have a more complex understanding of the world. Whether or not this understanding is accurate is up for debate.

The dictionary defines absurdism as “intentionally ridiculous or bizarre” and “the belief that human beings exist in a purposeless, chaotic universe”. This seems to be understanding the world and one’s place in it as being without meaning.

Robert Heinlein’s character Valentine Michael Smith, raised separately from life on Earth, exclaimed “I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.” Or as my mom would say, “laughing into oblivion”. Both of these quotes sum up Absurd Existentialism and Optimistic Nihilism for me.

I find the human existence at times to be uncaring, harsh, and often chaotic. I have seen poverty at levels unimaginable in most places in the United States (outside of Skid Row). [Update: there are several teenagers huffing their brains away in Parque Central Xela, Guatemala where I live. There are kids shining shoes in shabby clothes.]

However, I think there is a chance to bring order, pleasure, understanding, comfort and if possible a few laughs into existence. Some goals I have for my writing are to entertain, provide a deeper understanding of the world, and offer some humor (except with this post, deal with it).

A purpose can be as simple as “better understanding people” Or “better understanding how to speak another language” or “make a better peanut butter and jelly sandwich” (when I discovered the triple decker PB&J, I felt like Copernicus).

Developing a purpose is an important pursuit that may take years and several revisions. That is okay. Difficult things can be good things. Important goals are rarely easily reached.

The Bastard Son of Sisyphus By Orla de Bri [Park West 9 May 2017]-128072

That picture is of a work displaying the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. In brief, Sisyphus is condemned to constantly roll a boulder up a mountain. When he and the boulder approach the summit, the boulder rolls down the mountain. Then he must repeat his task.

This defines the absurd human struggle according to Albert Camus. Man constantly must toil at work that seems to never be accomplished.

The most important part of this myth that this photo/artwork capture is after the boulder has rolled down and Sisyphus is left at the top looking down at the boulder, smiling. Though his task is absurd to the point of lacking value, he smiles at the opportunity to bring value to it in the process.

Waking up sometimes feels like looking down at that boulder – at my agenda for the day: accomplish writing tasks, source new work, complete another workout, eat healthily, accomplish as much as I can, produce, produce, produce. However, I also know it hasn’t gotten the best of me yet and I smile.

I hope for more chances to laugh at the chaotic tragedy of existence, then get back working on my purpose. Day by day, that is the goal.

So I leave tomorrow to continue building my “utopia in the stars.” Though there are “billions of stars to visit,” I have found that there are so many worlds to explore right here on Earth. The next worlds I plan to explore are in Latin America.

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Photo Credit: Kurious

 

I honestly don’t know how long this digital nomad traveling escapade will continue, but there is definitely more to see in the world and learn about myself.

I hope to keep experiencing new forms of happiness. I hope to keep making a solid effort to improving my life and better understanding the world. I will keep making efforts to understand people better and brighten their day with a smile, a good conversation, or a well-placed pun.

Much to do!

Here’s to new adventures, more happiness, and laughing into oblivion!

Me at the Pink Floyd exhibit at the V&A Museum in London. Photo Credit: Laurel Steele.

A Soft Start to Living Internationally Part 1: The Last Day

 

Since moving out of America, life has really picked up speed! Let’s go back to when I left home. Trying to catch up will take some time, but that’s the goal.

Maybe one day I will catch up to the present. Maybe beginning this series with hope is a good thing. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

Either way, here we go. Back to Sunday, February 19, 2017.

I was ready to (finally) leave for Europe! I had been pulsing with this intention for over a year, refining the idea more and more of what life COULD look like. After finishing teaching at the end of the fall semester at the end of January, I had been itching to start. Now, to say goodbye to Michigan.

Preparations

I had been trimming down all my clothing, what I used and what I actually needed. My friend Kate loaned me a book which got my head in the minimalist space ready to declutter my room, my life, and my approach. If interested, the book’s title is ‘’The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A Simple, Effective Way to Banish Clutter Forever’’ by Marie Kondo and it can be found here https://goo.gl/VG0mHY. I chose clothes, shoes, books, papers, and notebooks (the last three were like purging lovers) based on their usefulness. I cut a bunch and donated them. I’m talking several bags worth. Other clothes remained at my mother’s house (you’re the best, Mom!).

Goodbye car

The last time I held my car which surprisingly held me.

Finally, I had what I thought would be the essentials to get me through the days. I had to balance the cold London February winds with the sweltering Turkish July heat in one go. I wouldn’t be coming back for awhile.

Leaving Home

The morning of my departure arrived and with it the need to do a final pack. I loaded my things into my carry on bag and a backpack (to avoid paying for a checked bag now and for each of my many forthcoming flights). I wasn’t able to fit everything, but, solemnly, I made peace with that.

My brother Evan came up to my room to check how I was doing. After a few jokes to chill both of us out, he noticed the extras sullenly sitting on my bed. “We can make this work.” Blind optimism runs in the family.

With pushing and cramming and some protips (socks go in the packed shoes, sit on the luggage while zipping it, don’t forget the extender zipper, etc.), we made it work. Reflecting on this now, I am happy to have the comfortable sweatpants which didn’t make the first round cut.

Next, it was food time. My family and a few select friends – chosen by a mix of proximity to my house or Detroit and, more importantly, the ability to wake up early on a Sunday – headed to a send-off brunch. The food was good. There may have been mimosas. Detroit does brunch right.

We fought over the bill. At this point, I’m not sure who won, but I’m glad that Evan and I could vindictively mock argue bringing to bear the full might of our beards one more time before leaving.

Evan and Jake Beard Grabs.

Belknap beards and eye contact were strong that night.

Bus and Beyond

From there it was on to the Detroit Greyhound bus station. Uncharacteristically, I got there early. This gave us a chance to wander around outside and enjoy the unseasonably nice weather (thanks, Michigan!). There wasn’t much I noticed on this walk…well, there were a few surreptitious glances at the people I became used to seeing daily. Ew, nostalgia.

Then came the last moments. We still had time to while away, more time to sit and joke. There were some back slaps and more nostalgia about when each of us had left for different reasons. But now the people I saw most days or at least a few times a week would not surround me. Thanks to emails, video chats, and a big effort on their part to figure out time zone differences we would make it work.

Then the bus wheels were moving and we were waving.

I had a low-key Greyhound ride to Toronto with about eight other travelers. My fellow riders ranged from a woman with no bags who commiserated with me about the troublesome wi-fi to a bearded man whose pack told more of the miles he had seen and would see than he was ready to share. Before I knew it, I had left America.

A customs officer grilled me when we unloaded at the border. Apparently, freelance writing from another country doesn’t make much sense; I need to work on my elevator pitch. It was some small solace that another couple were the ones to hold us up and not me; it’s okay to be a nuisance so long as you aren’t the worst one. I slept through about half of the ride and then fidgeted until drop off.

Check out part two BY CLICKING HERE to read about what I saw in my first city on my journey into the great wide open. For now, cue Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and fade to black…